god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
