The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
