i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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