Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
