You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
