Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
