I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
