Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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