If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
