What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
