This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
