He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
