So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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