i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
