I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
