is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
