it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
