Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
