Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
