all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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