then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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