my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
