If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
