i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Randomize
