The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How external is "for external use only"?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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