Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize