do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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