Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
