she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
