So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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