I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
