why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
