kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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