Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
