in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
