Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
