i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
