Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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