Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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