my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
