i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
