Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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