Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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