I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
