Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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