Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
