don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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