Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
