I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
