Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
