So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
