Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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